Tuesday, February 2, 2010

I'm tired....

Okay get ready...it has been one of those days and this might not be the most positive blogs I've written....................

I'm tired.

I'm tired of being in this house.

I'm tired after sleeping in a toddler bed from 4-7 this morning due to a yucky cold that won't go away.

I'm tired of repeating myself 45 million times............(this one makes me crazy)

I'm tired of laundry always being there.I'm tired of dishes always finding their way to the sink.

I'm tired of NEVER having things put in their place...something is always messy.

I'm tired of never feeling focused enough to finish any job.

I'm tired of worrying about what everyone thinks of me and my family.

I'm tired of being everything to everyone.

I'm tired of being FAT and no matter how hard I try it is always there (tears are coming now)

I'm tired of bills.....paying bills....receiving bills....this includes checking the mail.

sigh..........

Ok ENOUGH of the pity party!

Things I'm NOT tired of:

I'm NOT tired of Jack when he rubs my face with a feverish hand at 4 in the morning and says, "I love you the most mommy!"

I'm NOT tired of Chris saying he LOVES my cooking when I've cooked a meal for my family. (even Jack won't touch it with a 10 foot pole)

I'm NOT tired of worshiping the God in heaven with my brother and sisters in Christ.

I'm NOT tired of my nightly phone calls with my mom and sister.

I'm NOT tired of coupons and anything that has to do with a good bargain.

I'm NOT tired of learning something new everyday!

sigh.....Ok, feeling better now...I actually should probably not post this cause it will show that I'm completely off my rocker, but hey why not let you in on the secret ;)

6 comments:

  1. Ok, number 1--I want to know how the dishes find their way to the sink. I WANT the secret. How does that happen? Second, you aren't off your rocker, YOU ARE WONDERFULLY AND BEAUTIFULLY MADE! And I love that you are my friend and sister. I do want to know why you don't get tired of talking to ME every night. Wait....that means you DO! OK, fine! Whatever, I'm NOT stopping! Get over it, chich! LOVE LOVE LOVE you!

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  2. I love you Amber. We all have these days. You're not alone!

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  3. Oh, I feel you! But you're not having a pity party. It's your blog, and sometimes, a woman's just gotta vent it out :) Hope you're feeling better now. BTW you are not fat, you're beautiful!

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  4. I'm thankful for the dirty dishes that are still in the sink...I know they will be there when I get to them..It means we have plenty of food. (there was a time in my life-I really didn't know what I might eat..if anything)
    I'm thankful for dirty laundry..but mostly the ability to clean them...there was a time when I could only go to the laundry mat once a month...
    I'm thankful for trying to fit in bed with Charles when he's not feeling well, bad dream, or just not ready to go to sleep...He came early...I may not have had any of these opprotunities.
    I'm thankful for tripping over the same pile of "stuff" I told my children to pick up a ZILLION TIMES!!" There have been times in my life that I had wished for even a few minutes with someone I love-and the pile getting bigger only reassures me...they are still there.
    No matter my weight, my hair color, my wrinkles, my poor eyesight, my forgetfulness....I know God loves me and I am just what I feel-He wants me to be...right now. I just don't try to make it worse.
    Above all else, I am so thankful for you...A fine Christian example, my sister, your warm uplifting spirit, you are kindness extreme. You try, you put forth effort, you love and in return are loved. You are my sister and when you speak to someone-you always leave behind a feeling of genuine caring. In you I see the best there is now and will ever be...I see Christ. I am very blessed to know you.

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  5. My very sweet friend Amber. I sometimes feel as if I am the ONLY one who feels this way, as if every other mommy in the world has this all under control and I am the only one sitting in a corner with my eyes closed, hoping all the mess will GO AWAY. BUT, I get up and get back at it, like groundhog day....same day over and over. Then I remember my blessings, my God, my hubby, my Emma. Thank you for posting this and helping me feel NORMAL! Love you

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  6. Amber, a happy and loving home isn't about dishes being washed, toys being picked up, laundry being done, bills being paid, etc...Jack won't remember that one day you didn't do these things for him....neither will Chris. What they will remember is that you took time out of your "Crazy" day to be his mom, be his wife, be his best friend, be his helpmate. You do a good job, that you sometimes don't give yourself credit for. I am not even remotely close to you (geographically), but when i talk to you, and read others comments, you are going above and beyond your call of duty. That is what people are going to remember.
    If those things don't get done right away...THAT's LIFE!!!! Just like the one lady said, these things are to remind you just how Blessed you are for the things you have!!!! AMEN!!!!
    I like your venting sessions. You are allowing people to see that you are normal, and at times you do break down. I think people need to see that side of preachers wives. They might feel that they can relate to you more, when they see you stuggle with the same things....tell toddlers 45 million times to do something, and at 3 they might need to be told 46 million times just to get it.

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