Perfectionism.....something to think about

This post could go on and on forever but I think I will just hit the "high" points! Ha!

Hello, my name is Amber and I am a PERFECTIONIST! I LOVE when things are done perfectly! However, I am learning that living a perfectionistic life can be extremely tiring and challenging...

Let me list a few things that I WOULD LIKE to do perfectly:

1. be a perfect Christian
2. being a perfect mommy to Jack
3. being a perfect wife to Chris
4. being a perfect preacher's wife
5. blogging....I obsess over the perfect posts
6. perfect dieting
7. perfect couponing
8. perfect cooking
9. perfect praying
10. perfect friend

This list could go on forever, but these were the first few on my mind lately. Now, I'm not perfect at any one of these things (who is?), but I'd really like to try to be. However reaching for perfection is such a tiring life....everyday is ended in let down that you didn't complete the task perfectly. Why is that....well we just can't be perfect. We are human....and yet while we know that humans are not perfect we like to Judge eachother as though others should be perfect.


There are times when my perfectionism actually keeps me from doing anything at all....if I can't do it perfectly then I don't want to do it at all. This may make me appear as lazy or unproductive, but it truly is not that! It is the mental battle that takes place inside my head when a task just seems too difficult to take on knowing it will not be done exactly the way I want it in the end.


I have learned that while I expect myself to be perfect (although not possible) it actually is a trait that can burden the people around me. My perfect mentality can cause me at times to expect too much out of my soon to be 3 yr. old son or even cause undue stress to my precious husband that loves me and my son more than anything in this world. I find myself critical of others and constantly analyzing EVERYTHING! It is so tiring being a perfectionist and it makes each day of life so difficult. I don't want to be that person anymore....I want to be able to roll with the punches so to speak. I want to let go of the need to analyze every situation that comes my way! I guess what I'm asking for is BALANCE.....


If you have any idea about what I'm talking about let me ask you this....Have you ever met those people in this world that are balanced? I have....I'm so intrigued by them and the peace their life seems to bring to them. They have it all together and they live life to the fullest! I'm going to be that person someday....I think acknowledging the problem is the first step to perfectionist recovery :)

Wow after this post I'm thinking I should start a support group...anyone want to join me! :) No really, do any of you out there struggle with the same thoughts and feelings? Are any of you recovered perfectionist? I'd love to know any pointers or struggles you face as well.........

I told you to stay tuned.....more of my faults for all to see coming up in future posts :)

Calling all Amazon shoppers!!

This is an AWESOME deal and perfect for this time of year! Amazon is offering a FREE trial of their Amazon Prime!! That means FREE 2 day shipping for a month!



Great thing is, your card won't be charged automatically after the trial period if after you sign-up you go to your account and choose to not upgrade.

I'm totally excited about this! I have lots of shopping to do and I love to do it online!!! I'm already signed up for this offer!

Putting myself out there....

Here goes nothing...



It has been one LONG day for me. You know those days where you literally feel like a ticking time bomb ready to explode. Well, it happened...I exploded and fell apart.



Now before I tell this story I must fill you in on some background information...I have this really annoying personality trait that I like to appear as though nothing is wrong and everything is in order...in fact I hate when others become aware of my imperfections. Not sure why I'm this way but it can be at times a huge burden to carry around. Always being afraid someone will notice I'm not perfect (as if my weight doesn't indicate that already...that is a whole other blog post). I mean how ridiculous is that....NO ONE (other than Christ) is perfect! So, why am I so afraid to allow my imperfections to show? I'm not one that tries to judge others for their faults, in fact I seem to be quite the opposite. I find joy in reaching out to those that need a lift or a pick me up...so why is it so scary for me to put myself out there. I have been this way since I was a child so I know a lot of it is a personality trait, but I think it was magnified as I became a preacher's wife. I try to pretend that it isn't any different than being the wife of a man that doesn't hold the position as a preacher, but let's call a spade a spade....all eyes are on the preacher and his family! Now, you need to know that I LOVE what we do! I can't think of another "job" that brings with it as many blessings as our family gets to experience, but like all "jobs" it brings with it challenges. Living in a fish bowl isn't all it is cracked up to be...especially on days like today! So there you have it....now I can talk freely about my faults....I think the point of this background information is to ask you not to judge me, learn from me :)



Okay, back to today....so I could feel the negative thoughts creeping in from the moment I woke up to Jack in my bed around 5:00 this morning (I don't remember him even getting in my bed...scary!). I took him back to his bed and to keep from hearing the crying tucked him and myself into his toddler bed...why I didn't just stay in the big bed with him is a mystery. I tried my hardest to get myself and Jack ready in time to make the devotional at the nursing home, but after fighting with Jack that there was no reason to be afraid of going to the bathroom by his self and that he had to comb his hair before we left, I realized we weren't going to make it in time. So, we opted for lunch with Daddy.

Next comes Kindermusik at 4:30...all was well until we got to the car. Here is where the story makes a turning point. Jack without a nap is hard enough...Jack tired AND hungry is enough to make one crazy! So, since i wasn't completely unprepared for dinner we had to make a stop before heading home. I tried to concentrate on what it was we needed but couldn't hear myself think through Jack's screams for GUM! (Anyone that knows Jack knows he is a gum ADDICT!) Refusing to give in we made our escape finally...On the way home I called a good friend back and we spoke on the phone as I was getting Jack and the groceries in the door. Here is when the bomb begins to go off....Jack continues to scream for food knowing I am cooking dinner. I think while on the phone I put Jack in time out twice, administered discipline once, and screamed as he spilt spaghetti all over the floor. The friend on the phone is a blog reader and she reminded me that this was just one of those Mommy Moments :) I wised up and got off the phone and tried to finish dinner....



Chris killed his first doe of the season so he got home later than usual...and as he walked in the door I fell apart. Crying, crying, and more crying....all I could think about was what a terrible mother I was and how could I yell at my son over spilt spaghetti....more crying. As I sat on the couch worrying and crying that I would never be the mother my son deserved my precious Jack came to give me a hug and asked me why I was sad. All I could do was hug him and say I was sorry for being impatient and yelling at him. He just rubbed my arm...



After a car ride to chat with a good friend I began seeing a little more clearly again! She reminded me that as long as I'm giving Jack the things God has instructed me to do for him then the rest will fall into place...and you know what....I'm really not a bad mom. I love my son more than life itself. I want nothing more for him than to guide his precious soul to heaven, and if that means I have to tell him no a lot...well, I'm prepared to do that. I'm learning that I will NEVER be the perfect mom...there is no such thing. I'm thankful children are forgiving and love us despite our faults. I think about my parents and to this day I love them so much it hurts...they were never perfect and they made mistakes, but at the end of the day they loved me enough to teach me what was right and forgive me when I too made mistakes. Motherhood is TOUGH! Some days will be "rainy"...but I've decided I'm going to try to enjoy the ride. Jack will be three in a few weeks and I'm realizing that one day I'm going to blink and he will be gone. I might as well learn now to enjoy my "mommy moments" and hug him while I can.



Thanks for listening while I put myself out there....you never know....I may let you know about a few more imperfections I have :)

Encouragement - Part 2

I want to continue our study on encouragement by talking about some of the specific tools God has given us to deal with lives discouragements. Each of us have different circumstances that come our way. We will all struggle with things in this life and god has given us the tools we need to make it here on this earth.

First things first.....Prayer! In times of discouragement we ought to turn to the Lord first and foremost. I think sometimes we are such physical minded people that we forget to turn here first. When problems arise what do we do? We turn to our physical friends and relationships on this earth to get us through....while it isn't wrong to turn to those on this earth for help, it isn't the wisest thing to do first. People are human and therefore they will make mistakes...humans, despite what they think, don't know everything! When seeking advice and encouragement, who better to turn to than our God in heaven. He created us! He knows everything about us down to the number of hairs on our heads. He is the master of this universe yet we fail to rely on him and the words he has given us to guide our steps. His word offers us the answers to our questions and the strength needed of our souls!

Think about the actual act of prayer...we bow our heads and approach the throne of our God in heaven. This is available to us 24/7...no lines, no distractions, no limits. There is no worry too small that we can't bring before our God. We can confide in him knowing that our "issues" won't shared with the world for all to see. He can be trusted with the things that weigh our hearts down. We are to pray with confidence, faith, that the things we ask can be done by our Lord. However, as demonstrated by our Savior in the Garden of Gethsemane we need to pray that his will be done and not our own. Sometimes we will find that God answers our prayers with a "no". This is when we want to doubt or say that he doesn't care, but our God knows what is best for us and we must put our faith and trust in him.

I don't know what could be more encouraging than knowing that we have a mediator in Christ Jesus.

"For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus" I Tim. 2:5

Christ literally takes our prayers and delivers them before the throne of our Father in Heaven. Why is Christ the chosen one to take our requests before God? Think about the relationship Christians share with Christ. He put on flesh and walked the same earth we live on today. He was in all points tempted yet he remained perfect! He knows what it means to be human because he was one. He knows the struggles of this earth because he experienced them...what better person to take the requests of men to our God in heaven. Those of us that are living in Christ have an amazing blessing in the act of prayer. So why to we fail to use it? I think sometimes we suffer here on earth for no reason when we could be taking our cares and worries and laying them at the feet of our Father.

Don't let yourself suffer needlessly....take it to your God in PRAYER!

Recipe Shout Out - Chicken Spaghetti

Okay here is a good one! I get requests for this recipe ALL the time! When we were working at the Whitlock congregation I had to bring this to almost every fellowship meal! Super yummy and super unhealthy :) This was given to me by a good friend from college, Candace. She gave me a recipe box for a wedding gift filled with her favorite recipes...I LOVE thoughtful gifts like that, and I think of her everytime I pull it out! So, I guess I want this recipe to remind you of friendships everytime you make it...remember those that mean the most to you and try to be as good of a friend to them as they are to you! Friendship is a beautiful blessing in life!

Ingredients:

4 cooked chicken breasts, shredded

1 can cream of celery soup

1 can cream of chicken soup

1 can Ro-tel

1 lb. Velveeta, Melted

1 lb. cooked spaghetti

For real here is the instructions.......Mix together and put into 9x13 pyrex dish. Back at 350 degrees for 40 minutes.

This is defininitely a comfort food and it will serve a TON of people!!!!

Yankee Candle Deal

If you are a Yankee Candle lover this is a pretty good deal! Plus, shipping is a flat $5. So you get $100 worth of candles for $50!

Looks like there might be an in-store coupon you could print and save some shipping if you have one close.

Dollar General Deals

Okay, so I've learned in my deal seeking attempts that most of your favorite stores have a website that you can sign-up for special deals and coupons! Since I'm limited in my area I have signed up for most everything our small town offers. I like Dollar General and can find some pretty good deals, especially on the clearance rack! I got two bottles of Gilette Shampoo for Chris at $1 each! They were marked down to $2 and I had a $1 off coupon on each one! Anyway, lesson learned ALWAYS bring your coupons in and ALWAYS check the clearance everywhere you go!

Two things I don't like at Dollar General:

1. They usually only run a sale ad the first full week in a month. (However, with the holidays approaching they seem to be offering them more!)




2. They do NOT accept internet printed coupons! Ugh!
   I got an email from their savings club saying they are offering a special Internet coupon this weekend only and you can use it with the sale ad that will be good through Sunday. (This coupon I suppose is ok due to it is from their own website) I think with the sale ad, a few coupons, and the special coupon from Dollar General there will be some good bargains to find!

Click for Coupon valid this weekend only!

Come back and share your bargain finds!!!

God's Tools for Encouragement - Part 1

Okay, I know I've been gone forever, but I've missed my blog!!! You know those times in life when you are doing everything but what you actually want to do...or just no time for play! Anyway, things are slowing down a bit and I'm ready to update! I'm going to do a series over the next week entitled "God's Tools for Encouragement." This is the subject I did for a ladies day in Kentucky a few weeks ago. I hope you find it uplifting and a little enlightening!

It seems that dealing with the things life throws our way can be extremely difficult at times. All of us have faced discouragement at some point in our lives. Some may find it was during financial hard times. Others may have experienced discouragement while dealing with the loss of a child or loved one that was close to them. We've seen many struggle with illnesses as bad as cancer or even those that stop living due to severe depression. What about those that are affected by addictions? Have you ever watched as someone addicted to alcohol, pornography or even drugs struggled down the road to recovery? What about the loved ones that were affected by those addictions? Have you ever heard the hurt and utter hopelessness in their voice? It could be said that discouragement is an emotion that we are constantly battling as the difficulties of life continue to come our way.

I propose to you today that it is what we do with those discouraging times that determine how we will come out of the situation. We have two choices:

1. We can become so heavy from the load that we throw in the towel, and I will tell you that is what Satan desires us to do!
2. Warning....this next option is difficult and will take some perseverance and strength if we choose this option. However, it will be the most rewarding option that will make us more beautiful than when we started....are you ready....OK, the second option is using those hard times as a means of glorifying our Lord and drawing near to him. Some of you may be thinking, I've already done that and it doesn't work! Although it may seem that God didn't stand by us through the hard times when the hard times kept coming, it is the exact opposite! I know it can be hard to understand "why" sometimes, but I believe that often we will never know why however we can always know that the Lord is with us during those times and is making us stronger people!

When studying this subject I found myself asking the question, "Have times changed or has discouragement been around since the beginning of time?" Well I want us to look at two Bible characters that prove that times have not changed and they indeed faced times of discouragement!

1. Noah - Imagine having the task before you that Noah faced. Would God's work have been carried out if it had been in your hands to complete an ark, care for the animals, and also preach to the people warning them about what was to come? That is a very sobering thought for me. Under the circumstances in the days of Noah you know he had some discouraging days! However, we know that with all the challenges facing Noah he still overcame and OBEYED God. Do you think his faith was strengthened as those flood waters began to rise and he and his family were safe inside the ark? He had to go through some temporary discomfort to achieve the reward of living through the flood and taking his family with him. I know we can draw a direct parallel of our own lives to the life of Noah. We too as Christians much go through some difficult times, but we must work fervently for the Lord and his purpose while here on this Earth. Do you think Noah knew specific names of many of the people that died during the flood? It must have caused him much grief to know that had they listened to the words of God their lives would have been spared. Don't we know people like that in our lives that we beg and plead with to heed to God's words but still chose to live a life of disobedience? How does that make you feel. I know that I feel such internal conflict and pain when those I love most live unfaithfully to God. However, like Noah we can't let those people and discouragements keep us from "being about our Father's business!"
2. Hannah - Wow, the life of Hannah is truly one of my favorites! It can be found in the book of 1 Samuel. The more I study her and the many discouragements she faced the more I admire and gain strength from her example. Hannah is most known for her inability to have a child, and unfortunately for many women in this world they can relate to this specific struggle in Hannah's life. However, there is so much more to the woman Hannah. She had many different struggles and discouragements in her lifetime. For example, she had to share her husband with another woman. Not just any woman but a woman that was able to give her husband the one thing she couldn't, a child. I can't imagine the pain that caused her as she looked upon Penninah and her children daily. Not only would the mental struggle be difficult, but Penninah actually ridiculed Hannah to the point that she would actually cry and refuse to eat. In the end, we know how Hannah's story ends. The Lord remembered her and gave unto her a son, Samuel. When Hannah faced her many discouragements she sought refuge in the Lord and was blessed because of that. Can we say that we seek God in our greatest times of need? Do we really believe that he can help us? Our God is listening to his faithful followers and we deny ourselves that peace that God can provide when we don't seek his face in our times of need.

In the next article we will look at some of the specific tools God has given us to use during our most difficult times!